I'm back!

 (still got no idea which anime/manga this girl is from. If you know, please do let me know. It's currently my avatar on Twitter - I feel it suits me rather well).

I'm delighted to say that I am back. I've been pottering around the last few days, reading, watching lots of netflix (which is a new addiction for me and a friend) and relaxing. Yesterday I braved my inbox and spent a good while sorting them out, leaving no time for blog posts. Today I was debating posting a review, but then realised this post would take a bit of time to write (even if I am doing it at top speed). 

I'm giving full disclosure on the treatment I had, just in case people are looking online for experiences with it. I'm currently with a pain management clinic, who are trying various treatments to help me with my chronic pain. On Wednesday I had a 30 minute infusion of ketamine. Some people have heard of ketamine. It is used on animals (horse tranquiliser), it is used in human surgery (anesthetic), and some idiots take it recreationally. 

I'm pretty non-judgemental in public, but in this instance I will use idiots. I had a very lose dose of ketamine. At first I was peachy. I felt ok, and was able to read 3/4 of my manga. Slowly I started to feel what could only be called as odd. It got to the stage I had to put my book down (& contrary to the doctor, I did remember the manga plot once the treatment was over. Which is amazing considering my memory is normallyrather poor). 

The oddness got odder. I don't get why people take it for fun. It was weird in not a nice way, I wasn't really with it at all and it felt horrid too. A nurse said it would be easier if I closed my eyes, so I did. I think the one thing which saved me from getting to worried was I'd set one of my favourite Japanese songs on repeat, and it kept me distracted. Because I'm usually calm when I listen to it, it helped calm me a little. 

I refused to open my eyes until I felt ready to face the world. I can't say I felt amazing, but there was a bit less pain (yay). I think I was still a bit 'high', as one friend put it. It was very weird. Family travelled home with me - you can only have the procedure if someone you know is with you to make sure you are safe. I can see why. I was more ditzy than normal (especially with my train ticket). 

The rest of the day was spent feeling 'high'/a little out of it, telling my close friends & family it worked and dvds. 

It's the most amazing thing to wake up and have less pain. After 2 and a bit years we've finally got somewhere! 

There is a catch to all this. I don't know how long it'll last. Although its taken away a lot of pain, the worst area is still pretty bad. But having the peripheral pain removed makes all the difference. What I didn't take into account was that I'd actually notice when I am tired. That sounds obvious, but its not when pain and fatigue merge into one. I notice when I'm tired now, which is surprisingly often. I think the opportunities for doing too much have reduced to virtually zero. I guess it's a good thing I understand what my body's telling - my friends will certainly agree - it's just going to take a bit of getting used to. I return to the clinic in June to discuss how it went & how long it lasted. Such is the insane waiting times at specialist centres. Not ideal, but better than nothing.

There are more plus sides from the treatment other than the obvious. Less pain (for now) = I have marginally more energy for reading! Yay! Ok so it means I have more energy for writing (which is more yay) but seeing as this is my review blog, more reading is also a very good thing. Having to stop reading because you have no energy to read sucks. At least now I can mostly decide for myself when I want to finish, rather than my body telling me when it wants to finish. 

Reviews will be back as of tomorrow. I will probably be doubling up reviews over the next week or so, because I've got a lot of them to put up. A 2nd, fun competition will be arriving soon too - to win an ARC of a book which just isn't for me.

I would like to say a big thank you for everyone's support. Reading your messages both before and after treatment both meant and helped a lot. Never underestimate the value of telling someone you're there for them. 

This road isn't over for me, not by a long shot. I'm hoping the effects last for weeks rather than days, but I won't know until I get there. 

What I do know for sure is that I foresee lots of wonderful books being read and reviewed here on NRC, and I'm looking forward to sharing lots of my thoughts on books this year with you all. 

Do something fun this weekend!

Edited to add: after discussion with a friend, for the next two days I will be good and actually rest. I can read. I can watch dvds. I can not write. Apparently this is good for me. (I am actually excited about finishing season 4 of Winx so I can watch the 2nd film for the first time (even if it is disjointed from the original story line it will be awesome!))