Ellen Lives by Lynda Haddock (Young Adult, 10E/10E)

September 2018, Troubador Publishing, 272 pages, Paperback, Review copy

Content: suicide

Summary from Troubador

 1971. When 15 year-old Ellen returns home from school in Yorkshire, her world is fragmented as she finds her mother has hanged herself. A dark mist descends, yet somehow she must find a new way to live. After her mother’s funeral, Ellen is taken to live with her aunt and uncle and pressed into housework, forced to wait on the men of the household. She retreats into herself, into sullen, desperate silence to survive. In a fit of rebellion, she writes a letter to the local paper in support of the campaign for comprehensive education and the closure of her own prestigious selective school. Most of her fellow pupils shun her, and after a harsh rebuke from the headteacher, Ellen runs out of school – and far away, down to London to find her grandfather.
Her situation doesn’t improve, as she narrowly escapes the unwanted attentions of a stranger in King’s Cross. Yet when she finds herself caught in the midst of a radical political rally led by a group of young women protesting for their rights, suddenly her world is changed. Although her grandfather is in hospital, Ellen discovers new friendships as she joins the group and learns to stand up: for women and for herself.

Nayu's thoughts 

Suicide is unfortunately a part of life. It's something I hope no one ever deals with, and something I've had to deal with twice. The first instance I lost a friend at uni to suicide, which was tragic. The second instance I found a friend who tried committing suicide, which in some ways was worse because I found her (with one of her parents), there was a note for me and everything,, whereas I never saw the other friend. My friend did pull through and is still alive now. Both of these experiences makes suicide in novels a subject I get interested about, because I want to know how it is conveyed. 

Thanks to books I've experienced suicide for friends/siblings, but I can't remember the suicide of a parent, which is why I wanted to read Ellen's tale. A key part of what I found interesting was that this was set a few decades ago in 1970s, when mental health and attitudes to death/suicide were rather different to how they are today. Ellen's feelings on who she lived with initially weren't taken into consideration, and she didn't want to rock the boat so put up with not feeling at home with her aunt. The actual moment when she discovers her mother is dead is tissue worthy, so make sure you have a few when you read it. 

I felt so sorry for Ellen, even if she did know her mum was different to her friends' mothers, she still loved her and life was strange without her. She had to fit into her aunt's routine, when all she wanted to do was be with her grandfather. She didn't do the right thing by running away, and I thank God that she found safe people to stay with while she sorted herself out, and eventually gets help to live away from her aunt's family. By staying in contact with one friend she was able to get help from social services who persuaded her to make the right choice for her situation. I thought that Ellen would be powerless in deciding where she lived, but because of her age somehow she got most of what she wanted, which again made me need a tissue. 

Due to all the emotions surrounding the book's topic I don't know if I'll be able to read it again, but that's only because of my personal experiences. I don't necessarily want to keep remembering all the feelings I had, but I urge you to read this and get an inkling of what life is like. There is still stigma surrounding suicide today, which is a shame because in my view people who commit suicide aren't thinking straight so it isn't their fault, and they shouldn't be blamed. 

Suggested read

Another book with suicide at the heart of it's story is  The Sister Pact by Stacie Ramey (Young Adult, 10/10E