Saturday, 20 June 2009

Saturday book post #1

*holds ice to forehead* I still have the bruise from Thursday's incident with BWM. It doesn't stop me from creating the promised random post on books. Today's subject: how to care for a book part one: purchasing from a store.

People, fall into two distinct categories when it comes to looking after books. There can be overlaps, but usually you're either a Preserver or a Handler. What follows in this series of short posts is how the types treasure their books. There is nothing wrong in either way. Preservers and Handlers share a common love of books. It's only the treatment which differs.

Buying a book in a store
The Preserver will, once the perfect book has been selected, pick the most pristine copy on the shelf. If it has a spine crease, or a bent corner, the book will be returned and another will be chosen. Once an ideal specimen is found, the Preserver will place the book carefully in the shopping basket, on top of any other items. Upon reaching the cashier the Preserver will follow the cashier's every move, like a hawk eyeing up its prey. Should the Preserver notice the cashier mishandle the book (horror of horrors the cashier could simply not care for books, or be the enemy Handler), frosty smiles will be given, and a memo to select a different cashier. Or shop online which virtually guarantees a near-perfect book through the post. At this point in time, the Preserver won't be thinking of the pitfalls of internet/mail order shopping. The Preserver will take the bag, hold it tight to their chest if returning by public transport, or put it tenderly on the passenger seat if using a car.

This careful approach can actually be followed by the Handler. Not all types revert to Handler mode until the book reaches home. For those who are 100% Handler, once they see a book, they'll take the first copy they see, regardless of those bent corners. So as not to appear aggressive, the Handler's book won't be slammed onto the checkout counter, but the Handler won't scrutinise the cashier's movements. They are more likely to be rummaging around in their unorganised handbag/wallet for payment. Once paid, the Handler will swing the bag by its handles until they reach home. The bag will be chucked onto the Handler's passenger seat, thrown casually on the back seat or shoved in the crowded boot/trunk. If the Handler uses public transport, they'll treat it as just another bag. Unlike the Preserver, they won't be sending out 'stay away' vibes, or contemplating the hiring of bodyguards for the next trip out.

Next Saturday I'll report on how Preservers and Handlers deal with purchasing a book by post. Look forward to seeing you in 7 days!


Danyelle L. said...

I love this post! I am so in the Preserver category, but with all the kidlets, sometimes I fall into the Handler category. :D

Nayuleska said...

If its my own book - I'm a total handler :) Preservation is nice, but not realistic when reading while cooking (only when parents are out), reading while eating lunch....the odd tea stain... :)